Sunday, August 22, 2010

The bigger the better or badder.

Why is it that we are happiest with the small things but think we'll be happier with the big things.

When my second grandchild / first grandson was born I was reminded that like all parents, my daughter and husband were again to have a life of many hardships raising children. In that, they would see the hand of God over their own choices and decisions.

For our families, friends, lovers, enemies and neighbors we love to have the bigger, better, badder, newer, shinier. It brings a feeling of accomplishment, and feeling of pride, a feeling of richness, and yes, a feeling of god.
Not that any of it is bad. NO it's not, but it can give us the god complex of false superiority, lordship, worthiness, creator and dominator/denominator. That whole thing brings us white robes and big rocks in our hands.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, the poor, the hurting, hmmm the humble masses yearning to be free.... We / or better yet, I am reminded less than I should that it is in our poorness we are rich, it is in our hurting that we are strong. Yes, this doesn't preach well in a lot of church circles anymore, but I think it's talking about core spiritual principles that will affect in part the natural versions of the same things.
I struggle much with the whole aspect of living and teaching law vs grace with many of my contemporaries and friends from different walks of life.
As much as I hate the sin in me and the capacity to sin in me, I hate my god complex of being judge and jury over those less fortunate than I on any given day. I can pick up a stone as fast as anyone on a hot topic but never think it's as bad when i do it.
I love my Jesus in the face of Mother Theresa, MLK, Doctors without borders, church greeters doing the same thing at their job place. I don't see Jesus on the face of much of the modern church today. Not that we're worse than we've ever been, just maybe a bit more "smarter, slicker and relevant". All that can be incredible when applied to a humble foundation of the beatitudes, but dangerous when applied to any foundation of the "me/god foundation".

So as i leave for services this morning, I'm brought to tears again by Oswald C. on Aug. 22nd "My Utmost".
"When He comes, am I prepared for Him to drag into the light, every wrong thing I have done?
It is there when He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean He will put His feet; wherever I think I am clean He will withdraw them.
Repentance does not bring a sense of sin, but a sense of unutterable unworthiness.
.... The reason God can not come into my life (in more measure) is because I am not through (with my self) into repentance."

May pride be seen on my face Lord and may it be pride in only You and what you are doing in and through this revitalized holy, sanctified, marvelous.... oops I mean humble, broken, unworthy and thirsty vessel filled with moments of Your holy, sanctified marvelous grace.

pretty cute grandkids huh....:)

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